Forget Me Not

I never thought I would be thinking about her this much. After all, I am the one that was in control of my emotions since the day we began. I knew we would not have worked out...well, at least not anytime soon...however, the prospect of things might turn for the better was wishful thinking; at least for me. We are years apart and at different stages of our lives. She was young and has so much ahead of her. I on the other hand, has not really figure out what I really want. It was more of a forbidden love affair that may have excited us. However, the truth finally emerge and we have to answer the question. "What do you think will happen to us?"

I am now left without her as I knew this day would come. Then why am I having a hard time stop thinking about her. I was ready for this day since day one. I had it all figure out by not letting my emotions get to deep. Somehow, she got me.

So what does this mean?

Fatherhood

I think I finally understand what it means to be in touch with your feminine side. I use to think it just means for a man to have woman characteristics and be sensitive to his feelings in order to understand a woman's needs. Although, I think all men possess these characteristics; however, not all have the courage to show them, thus afraid of being label as gay. I personally feel being in touch with your feminine side will make a man a better father. Now that I am a father myself, I feel it helps me understand my 6 month old boy emotionally. I can be sensitive and in touch with his heart as good if not better than his mother. Fatherhood has take on a whole new beginning in this new age. We are not the rigid, masculine, want to be tough macho males that our fathers once were. There is a new definition of what is a man suppose to be. And I am proud to say...I represent that. Most important outcome of this will be my son benefiting on how to be a gentle human.

I love that boy...

Random Thoughts 1

If you don't express then you will suppress. Then why would you want anyone else to be more colorful than you are. We are human. And it is in human nature to be selfish. We secretly do not want others to surpass/succeed before us. There are exception just like in everything. However, I am speaking of a whole not as an individual. This is the difference between the west and the east.

Socialism...wtf

New Beginning

I originally started my first blog on Xanga, which wasn't that long ago. Someone who is very special to me has been using that site for years so I thought it would be nice to test it out. However, I find that it is a little difficult to use. Maybe I am not savvy enough. Or maybe because I don't have a premium account. When I say difficult, I am referring to the background theme and how to play around with it to make it nice. The profile picture is way too small...again maybe not a premium account that's why. This seems to be more straight forward, but we'll see after this first posting. I miss her...